This morning I had time to read a few pages of a new book I ordered called Positivity, by Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D. I really liked how she gave two different examples of how we could start our day, with more of a negative attitude – or more of a positive one. She illustrated how it affected our children and their behavior, how it affected our colleagues, and our entire morning. She even showed how it affected our ability to come up with adaptive solutions. She basically illustrated and, will later in further chapters explain, scientifically, how innumerable mental events change our day – and over time change the wiring of our brain and the accumulative total of our lives as we create an entirely different mental trajectory. You know the old saying if your aim at the moon is off to the right by just an infinitesimal increment now, you will miss the moon by thousands and thousands of miles when your laser gets there.
Motivational Intelligence is very similar, in that, the many, many motivationally influential acts we take, and thoughts that we make each day, accumulate to our level and quality of motivation for the many things we want to do in an hour, or tomorrow, or next week or year.
I love books like Positivity that beautifully explain the meaning and impact of extensive scientific findings in our daily lives. Reading these, and working to change the way we act, can immediately and then more dramatically and automatically, over time, become something we do naturally and intuitively, because our systems are always on the lookout for things that make us happier. We are rewarded greatly with wonderful feelings and pleasurable brain chemistry – naturally. Our entire life is a learning experience, where much of the learning is subconscious. We do what feels good, and we gradually learn, to know and anticipate better what will feel good – not just now, but ongoing in our lives.
After reading these few pages, I called out to my wife in an even more cheerful tone “Hey Baby – Good morning. How are you doing?, with a big smile, even though I was around the corner. She responded with an even more cheerful tone than usual as well. A few minutes later, I shared what I had read with her and she said, ‘Wow, I thought you sounded especially positive this morning. Now I know why. And then she admitted that “I definitely felt happier because of your tone and wanted to be especially nice back.’
Other science based books that share practical psychological science are:
The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want by Sonja Lyubomirsky
Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman
The Science of Happiness: How Our Brains Make Us Happy-and What We Can Do to Get Happier , by Stefan Klein
Thanks for your post. This is what needs to be taught at job orientations and customer service training.